August 2024 Review

Well, you return to movies for two months in a row and what do you get? You get what might potentially be the worst movie you’ve ever had the displeasure of viewing. And I mean that with as little hyperbole as possible. Zero, even. Which is the equivalent of the entertainment value Borderlands provides as a movie. At least when I saw Moonfall (which was also irredeemably awful, by the way), its ineptitude entered the realm of amusing. Its lack of quality was so uniquely and unbelievably off-putting that this was some form of twisted entertainment in its own way. Borderlands shares no such light formed from its dark and depressing emptiness. There is nothing. Somehow even when it fails it manages to do so underwhelmingly. In the review, I talk about how this comes to be, and what I think a proper Borderlands film should’ve been like. At least with Crawlers I suffered in the comfort of my own home and for free. This cost me money and gas. The film gave me nothing, only managing to take. Check out more of my thoughts here.